“Libraries aren’t the pin-drop quiet spaces that they were years ago,” laments on-site Collection Management technician Axel Joplin. “I’m here to change that.”
Today, our technicians are finishing up a short-term project at the Solata Library to test the effectiveness of and interest in outsourced Shushing Services, and Joplin is quite right. “These days… Libraries are more like bustling community centers,” writes Karen MacPherson, “where being at least somewhat noisy is the new normal, especially when kids are involved.” It’s not just kids and teens programs threatening the silence of yesteryear, either; to support the needs of their communities, libraries offer much more than books. Interest groups, technology programs, and active education sessions have all contributed to the social shift away from the stereotypical bastions of quiescence so lauded in movies and popular culture.
Working Hard for the Tranquility
The balance comes by way of study rooms or ‘quiet floors’, places where those in need of some peace can go to work or read. It’s there where Joplin and his team members could be found meditating every morning of their pilot project, preparing for the day of shushing ahead of them.
Training for their role was, and has been, mental and physical: technical expertise was honed by researching the history of shushing, its role in the library, and what variations could be made on the traditional ‘shh’ noise. “While we’re still working to have conticent patrons – that’s Latin,” explains Joplin, “my team and I know that, sometimes, you need a better approach to rowdy noises than just, like, shhh, you know? I mean, if you don’t do it right, you just get more noise. Sometimes, you need a –tsk!”
The team conditioned themselves physically with thrice-weekly hour-long sessions at the gym following their shifts at the Solata library. We asked Joplin about the training regimen. “It’s about lung capacity. We do some cardio, some pull ups, but, most importantly, we focus on our breathing. If you can’t manage a good, long, robust shhh! while you’re chasing down your perp, then you don’t belong on my worldclass team.”
Despite Joplin’s drive, a passion his colleagues can only match half-heartedly, the project has been declared something of a disaster. Matt Roveto, On-site operations manager for Backstage concedes, “It remains to be seen whether there’s actually a viable market for outsourced shushing services.”
During our interview with Joplin, we had an opportunity to observe him in action with his Silence Enforcement Unit. While dogged to interrupt a group of chatting patrons in one of the group study areas, the individuals there merely rolled their eyes and continued conversing at a reasonable decibel level.
Joplin’s attitude towards shushing, however, remains positive. “I think we have to really strive for what J. B. Priestly would have wanted, the first person brave enough to make shushing a written reality. Ever.” He remains optimistic about his career prospects. “I have an interview with Amtrak on Thursday. They’re looking for a conductor with an intensely furrowed brow who isn’t afraid to stare down talkers in the quiet car.”
Seeking Shushers of Highest Caliber
We want to hear from you! Do you have a great shush? We’re inspired not only by the work of our own Axel Joplin, but also the Zach S. Henderson librarians at Georgia Southern University Libraries who hosted their own Winter Olympics. Send us a clip of your best shush. We’d love to host a competition of our own!
To submit your Shush! or learn more about our outsourced shushing services, send an email to info@bslw.com. We hope your April Fools Day isn’t too loud.
